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Suicide – Redemption Or Damnation

Mac — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:25:22 +0000

Loosing a loved one is never easy, be it old age, an accident or because of one of many mortal diseases, it leaves an open space in our hearts and minds. Deaths often leave the bereaved with a feeling of guilt – “I should have done more” – but rarely is this feeling as strong as when someone take their own life. In a religious and legal context, suicide is often considered a sin and even a felony in many countries. With the suicide rates as high as ever before, the phenomenon is of increasingly current interest. It’s a social problem and even described as a public health problem by the WHO. This both because of the emotional damage it causes to those left behind, but also the indirect costs on the national economy and public health services. The amount of failed suicidal attempts is huge, and some many require hospitalization and extensive medical treatment afterwards.

The subject of suicide is one I personally have strong feelings about, both because I’ve experienced suicide in my family and among friends, but also because I’ve had suicidal thoughts in periods of my life, as have many people that I know. Having a serious medical condition no doubt makes me increasingly prone to experience mental health problems in general. I am not ashamed of this fact and I believe it more common than many may think or dare admit. To give an example, some inquiries suggests that 55 per cent of college students have had suicidal thoughts and 18 per cent have seriously considered this option. 8 per cent again have actually attempted suicide. Different inquiries come to different numbers, and there are obviously geographical and cultural differences too. Regardless, what seems to remain a fact is that a large portion of the population have had or has suicidal thoughts at some point in their life. Understanding this complex phenomenon is difficult, but it is regardless necessary because it is so common. Almost everyone will know someone who depart by suicide at some point of their life, and many more will know people who make an attempt to take their own life. The following article is of both of very personal nature, but also an attempt to look at the historical and cultural background for suicide and show examples of the many ways this phenomenon have occurred through history, and today. While I am as concerned as anyone by the high suicide rates today, I am also equally concerned by the failure of society to help this problem. It seems suicidality are still subject to considerable prejudice, something that certainly do not help the problem but serve to alienate people even more.

Links, suicide in the news (mostly Norwegian newssites)

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1. My Story

Personal Loss

It’s a few years ago now, and I do not remember it that vividly anymore but what I do recall is that it came as lightning from a clear sky. I don’t know who it was anymore, that told me, my mother or some other family member, but that hardly matters. They’d found my cousin dead. Suicide. He’d blown his head off, only 17 years old. He was a few years younger than me, kind of that funny and a little strange kid I’d always liked, but also kept some distance to because when I knew him, he was a kid and I a teenager. At the time of his demise, I had not met him for many years. I moved from the north to the south of the country when I was 17 to go to school, while my parents and assorted other family remained in the north. Have to ad, that albeit I have a large family, the ties, at least between my branch and his, weren’t among the best.

My cousins history was typical and atypical at the same time. He definitely had what you might call “issues”, and that in several aspects, so much was obvious from when he was quite young. He was active, bright and quick, but also showed tendencies of what might have been AD(H)D or other attention disorders, or perhaps some sort of brain damage. To my knowledge he was examined but they never really figured out what was his issue. Among other things, he did not function very well with the other kids at school, always nagging the older ones and getting bullied as a response. In the end he dropped out school and basically got little education after elementary. When he got older he ended up being thrown back and forth between parents, foster homes and the civil authorities, thus creating a very unstable foundation for his existence. One can only assume that he was depressed and felt like no-one cared for him. The last months of his life, he lived alone a short distance from his parents and childhood home, in a cabin the social services in all their wisdom had chosen to place him. Someone came and looked after him once a week and he was basically alone. After his demise everyone was of course shocked, his parents, his sisters, the rest of the family and the authorities, the fact that his aunt was the director of the local social security office, only made it all even more incomprehensible. Ultimately, this is what many face after a suicide in the family, more questions than answers, and a lot of whys and his case is not unique.

Nothing I or anyone else do can bring him back, and the circumstances around his death only serve to enhance the pain we feel and can never be allowed take focus from the most important fact, that he is gone. I miss him dearly and I wish so much that I had taken the time to show him attention when I had the chance, that I had cared and perhaps could have been a positive element in his life. I should, I feel, if any, know and understand how he must have had it, as I had a difficult childhood myself. In the end, I, nor anyone else can be blamed for his death. He chose his own fate, and we’ll never know to a full extent what was going through his mind before he put the gun to his head.

My cousin was not the first, nor the last person I knew that chose this unfortunate path, but he is no doubt the one that have affected me the most. Besides of the guilt I feel on behalf of my cousin, his demise did arise a lot of difficult thoughts and questions in my mind. Not only did he remove himself from our lives in a terrible manner, but this also led me to think through suicide as a phenomenon many times. My personal sentiments in the matter have been put to the test but I have not changed them, rather it lead to thorough examination and a realization of the great complexity this subject holds. This article is written with him in mind, I don’t know if he’d like it, or even agree to some of the things I’m saying, but I do think he’d like to know that he’s still remembered and missed.

2. The History Of Suicide

A Weapon Of War And A Shortcut To Heaven

From the forced suicide of Socrates to modern day legends such as Kurt Cobain, suicides have been a part of human history. It is likely that suicide is a phenomenon that have always been present in human societies, although we lack sources to verify this before the development of literary language. Suicides have been forced, they have been committed by starving artists and mad scientists or by feverish fanatics. They occur in great epic works such as Shakespeare’s Hamlet or Romeo and Juliet, and in some cultures they are even today considered honorable. The kamikaze-bombers during WW2 struck fear into the hearths of many a sailor and soldier manning ships in the pacific, and even now suicide bombers take the lives of others in the streets of Iraqi and Afghanistan cities. Suicide can be a weapon of war, or the result of the delusions of madmen, but they are always scary and shocking, be it a depressed teenager in a peaceful corner of the world, or a rambling fanatic seeking to right what he considers wrong in a dusty Middle-Eastern city.

The motives behind suicides are widespread, and relating to the modern suicide epidemic, one can’t really compare for instance the kamikaze pilots or the one of Socrates to suicides caused by mental health issues. We have to discern between suicide caused by an external factor and motive, such as political or religious fervor, and suicide caused by personal motives. Herein specifically mental and/or physical illness, personal disasters such as deaths of family and friends, financial troubles or crime. This being said, there are examples where it is difficult to see if it’s political or religious motives or personal issues, or both.

While certain (fanatical) religious beliefs amongst for instance Muslims perceive suicide as a shortcut to heaven, few are aware that a similar attitude have been common also in Western Christian culture. The crusades was a one-way trip to heaven for the participants, if you died in combat with the infidels, you where certain to get a spot in heaven, also, if you killed infidels, that was equally good and cleared you from sin. There are stories of crusaders arriving in the “holy land” and almost instantly performing suicidal charges right into the midst of a battle, ensuring not only their own death but also salvation according to their beliefs. If these events where only products of religious fervor, or planned, conscious suicides is hard to discern a thousand years later, but there’s a probability at least some used the religious theory that way.

Another and less known way of (ab)using suicide in a religious context is explained in the book “Heksenes Forsvarere” (direct translation: “Defenders Of The Witches”) by the Swedish author and journalist Jan Guillou. He put forth an interesting interpretation of medieval crime statistics. From several hundred year old court protocols Guillou provides statistics over men and women convicted of molesting animals, that is, primary having sex with them. Basically, over a long period of time, a considerable number of people where convicted of this, which was a crime in the catholic Sweden back then. It’s interesting to note that the Swedish parliament have had this case, criminalization of animal sex, or not, up for consideration 14 times over the past few years. It’s obviously still a hot potato, both judicially and politically! Anyway, back in the Middle Ages it meant death by execution. What is interesting in this, is that there is no similar number of cases found in comparable countries at that time, such as Norway of Denmark. The Norwegian and Danes did burn witches, decapitated murderers and whipped thieves, but they didn’t really molest that many animals according to court protocols. Did this mean the Swedes where more perverted than their close neighbors with which they shared language and culture? Doubtfully! Now, Catholics consider suicide as a great sin, and back in those days you would surely burn in hell for all eternity if you died by suicide. Yet, there was also a strange duality in this, because, if you were convicted to death for a hideous crime, you could receive absolution if you’d confess your sins. Absolution meant no eternity in hell or burning in purgatory, you where considered “clean” the moment you departed this life and could enjoy eternity in heaven. Guillou could find no other explanation than, especially when in many of the cases, the convicted came to the authorities and confessed themselves, that this was actually a religiously waterproof way of suicide!

These previous examples gives small and incomplete glimpses of how suicide have been used and by what means people have died, in the past they, it’s much more difficult understanding the causes and motives causing suicides. Was it depressions and mental illness, or harsh living conditions and a difficult future? To take the “perverted” Swedes, regardless if they knew they’d receive absolution, it can’t have been easy confessing something they in many cases had not done. They must have had a very strong motivation to go through with this, obviously their religious beliefs, but also, they can’t have been rambling nut-cases acting on a whim. Even back then, they had to go through a certain court process and that took a little while, something that clearly indicates they must have been healthy enough to both understand and set their own state-sponsored suicides into motion.

When it comes to modern-day examples of the perversion-equals-heaven-tactic, I’m not aware of any, maybe except of the suicide bombers that do indeed believe hey will come to paradise. On the other hand, the suicide bombers are often very young and can hardly have accumulated many sins, that being sin regardless of Christian or Islamic context. Then again, maybe they are simply struggling with suicidal thoughts, just like people elsewhere and get the chance to “depart with style”. Also, it is no secret that living conditions in parts of the Middle-East are extremely difficult, making an increased level of general suicidal sentiments with the population probable. What other conclusions can be drawn from this theory is uncertain, other than it being an interesting example of what’s probably practical abuse of religious rules and rites.

3. Why

Causality And Probability

Everything points to the conclusion that the vast majority of suicides are caused by mental illness. The most common mental disorder, depression, or mixed depression/anxiety, is also probably the most frequent cause of suicidality. While other mental disorders such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder may have higher percentage-wise suicide rates compared to those caused by depressions, these disorders are rare, affecting only a small amount of the general populace. Also, the chance that you have more than one mental health issue increase significantly if you already have one, thus, a considerable number of individuals suffering from a certain mental health problem have others too (a phenomenon referred to as co-morbidity). The causes behind this is complex, social issues such as substance abuse, poverty, general health situation clearly play a major role here. It is a dismal fact that mental illness, substance abuse, poverty and other social issues go hand in hand and it is often hard to find who came first.

It is widely accepted fact these days, that depressions are extremely common and frequent. They can be related to or initiated by deaths, accidents, illness, being victimized, sexual abuse, substance abuse, in fact basically everything that changes your life situation in a uncomfortable way and causes emotional uproar or turmoil. Some are also genetically predisposed for depressions, substance addiction and various mental disorders. There is actually a theory that states that genetic predisposition for depression might be the cause of the unexpected and very surprising suicides that occur from time to time. This might hold some truth, albeit one should be very careful when coming to absolute conclusions in matters with obviously very intricate causal relations.

Darwinism

If you wish to look for a more fundamental or philosophical explanation for suicidality, one interesting and brutal possibility lies implicit in the very theory of evolution. From a somewhat extreme evolutionist point of view, suicide might be considered one of the mechanisms nature use to get rid of individuals unfit for further existence. Individuals that should not be allowed to carry on a bad strain. In the light of modern humanistic theory and ethics, this is will quickly be a focus point for massive objections. For instance, one could argue that human societies have moved beyond the rules of nature, rendering evolutionary theory an invalid and outdated way of understanding our societies. An answer to that could very well be that we’re always a part of nature, because we are nature, and even if we can alter some biological processes by technology, that do not detach us from the loop of life and death. Even if you sport this extreme evolutionist point of view, it is probable that this is a much too simplified basis for understanding suicide as a phenomenon. While Darwin’s theory of evolution can be applied to a surprisingly wide array of subjects, it does not necessarily mean it is suitable for explaining everything.

The Industrialized World Taking It’s Toll

You can’t try to understand a complicated phenomenon such as suicide without digging into our recent history and the way our world have developed over the past few hundred years. We don’t have to go back more than a mere two hundred years before the majority of the population was farmers and peasants, and did not live in cities. The industrial revolution brought massive changes in how we live our lives and how closely we live together. Health care, food on the table, education, good housing, entertainment and financial security are all privileges the modern man have to a greater extent than our forefathers. Then again, these things does not mean everything is perfect, as our way of life has side effects. The demands on individuals in both social and work life, have increased enormously, with personal success as the ultimate goal in many cultures. Yet, many people can never live up to the much treasured idea of personal success being the way to a good life, and the knowledge or fear that one’s not up to the ideals of one’s society can be devastating.

Additionally, one should not ignore the fact that the industrialization, introduced general pollution in a scale never seen or felt before. It is a well-known fact that many chemical substances gets into our bodies both orally and by skin contact. That the many modern chemical substances can have all kinds of undesired effects on our health situation, is area of science we’ve only just begun to explore. Also, of our food may have side-effects far beyond the obvious obesity epidemic in the western world. Humans where never made to live on a diet of fat and carbohydrates and the old saying “you are what you eat” probably holds true in more than one sense. The comfortable modern life-style enhance this issue, not only does it increase the general tendency towards obesity, but physical exercise is a well-known and clearly effective way of helping and preventing depressions. A healthy body goes a long way in creating a healthy mind.

A final factor most people are not aware of, when it comes to keeping both the mind and the body healthy, is sleep. We simply sleep too little! We known that in general, an average grown person needs 7-9 hours of sleep per 24 hours, children need more and elderly need some less. Yet, a great number sleep far less than this, having problems getting the hours to go around for everything that needs doing, or what one want to do. This can be seen as a side-effect of the stressful and demanding life-style of the modern world. One might think that “ok, so I don’t sleep enough, so what”, but that is probably before you’ve had a look at some recent scientific research. It points to the fact that too little sleep makes the brain act funny, basically it makes you feel more hunger than you actually have, leading you to eat more. What do you eat? Fat and carbohydrates. This alone increases the risk of a wide array of diet-related health problems. This wouldn’t be so scary if the sleep deprivation didn’t lead to an extreme increase in the diabetes risk. In a research project, young, healthy college students was sleep deprived for a week or so, at the end of that week most had developed the early symptoms of diabetes, that even if they were not overfed with unhealthy food.

Hope’s Lost

Ultimately, the causality of suicidality can and will be subject for research, theories and numerous attempts to explain will and are being made. On a personal level this might hardly matter at all. The most common description of that a suicidal feel is despair. When a human being perceives that it is in an unfortunate situation that is impossible to improve, desperation and despair tend to emerge. It might not even be a depression in the oh-so-common western sense, but simply have to do with general living conditions. From the farmer in India, whose crops have failed yet again, sinking him and his family into bottomless debt, to the catholic homosexual that is not recognized and accepted by his family. Their motives may vary but their state of mind is the same. Life’s too big to live.

4. Culture

Right And Wrong Is A Matter of Perspective

The mainstream public view in most cultures, as much as that of psychologists and other know-it-alls, is always that it is something that should be avoided at all costs. This perception is very difficult to challenge, and extremely unpopular too. For those having lost someone, understanding why their loved ones choose to depart is often impossible, the sorrow blinds and in many cases the departed was clearly not healthy. Psychological theory more or less dictates that suicide cannot be the choice of a healthy mind, forming the foundation from which modern juridical logic gains the scientific theory to define suicide as a crime. This is further enhanced by the religious theory present in the major world religions that has a strong influence on a society’s ethical and moral payload. All in all, this brings us to where we are today in most countries, where both morally and legally suicide is considered as a no-no, something that is probably problematic itself, because it has a potential to increase the feeling of guilt suicidal individuals carry. The fact that suicide is considered to be so wrong, makes it harder to talk about it, and easier to just contain the feelings within one’s own mind. When it comes to a matter such as suicide, one can hardly be too open or too accepting. People commit suicide because they feel out of touch with the rest of the world, they feel misunderstood, they feel like nothing matters and they feel that their personal pain is too big to handle anymore.

Now, why do we feel so strongly against suicide? Well, the theory of evolution can be used to explain why suicide traditionally is seen upon as something undesirable. Human beings are the last (but not ultimate) link in a long, long chain of life forms, stretching back millions of years. For a life form to actually live and reproduce some basic instincts are required, for instance it feel hungry and it want to breed. In simple life forms, this is unconscious, but as a life form evolves, acquires intelligence and complexity, this becomes a more and more conscious understanding. In the case of humans, as any other life form, we are where we are because the desire to live is very strong and totally fundamental for our existence. Through millions of generations this have been the ultimate and solely most important mechanism, thus logic dictates that the inheritance of this desire is exceptionally well-developed in a highly evolved form of life such as humans. It is so strong, that most will kill to save their own life and so obvious that we have problems comprehending that anyone would not want to live. Faced with those that do not want to live, another fundamental instinct of our race kicks in, the run-with-the-crowd instinct, which basically is the fear of anything that is different from ourselves or our perceptions. We to a certain extent fear those who make a choice we can’t or won’t make ourselves.

Putting evolutionary theory into use can be fun and interesting, but it is not always as feasible as it might seem. The most obvious logic flaw in this equation is the cultural element. While in western culture, suicide is commonly strongly opposed, there are cultures that prize suicide as a virtue, often with basis in religious sentiments. If an idea like that can get footing in a culture affecting thousands and even millions of people, this proves more than anything else, that we’ve moved beyond evolutionary mechanisms, or are certainly able to suppress them. The attitude towards suicide is in fact, very much dependent upon cultural bias, thus we must be very careful when claiming it’s right or wrong based on personal morale and ethics. A healthy doze of cultural relativism may surely come in handy we discuss this matter.

5. Choice

The Ultimate Execution Of One’s Right To Self-Determination?

No matter what kind of sentiments you have towards suicide, there are cases where most people find it hard to object against it. Take the ongoing euthanasia debate going on in many parts of the world these days. If you’re mortally ill, or are being turned into a vegetable, should you not be able to choose your own path? Legally this is strongly opposed in many countries, but amongst the common man, this choice, to end one’s life to avoid pain and/or a slow death inside a malfunctioning shell of a body, is often an obviously acceptable and morally justifiable conviction. The core of the euthanasia debate is to what extent people are supposed to have the right to self-determination and the biggest problem is perhaps the fear that if you accept suicide in some cases, why or how are you supposed to deny people the legal and moral right in a general perspective? Euthanasia strongly conflicts with core elements of our judicial systems and established moral base and it is a boundary, that once crossed, marks a fundamental change and can generate a wide array of potential problems. I.e. for instance claimed-to-be euthanasia that are in fact outright murders. Also, who are to decide if someone are ill enough, yet mentally able to make a conscious choice on the matter? Most countries today do not have the death penalty, often due to the philosophical belief that the state are not allowed to decide if its inhabitants live or die. If the state does not have the right to murder by the letter of the law, how can the state possibly claim the right to decide if you can kill yourself or not?

It has been my personal conviction for many years, that suicide is the ultimate execution of one’s right to self-determination. A view that is controversial in my own western culture, and certainly not without pitfalls. The fundamental question is of course, can suicide be a conscious, clear and justifiable choice? Or, is it always the choice of a mentally deranged and sick mind? Now there are people obviously very ill from mental disorders, there are people that are affected by medications and drugs, rendering their minds incapable of making a logically comprehensible and valid chain of thoughts. A certain portion of those departing by suicide, were simply not making a truly conscious choice, instead they did something they would not have done if they’d been healthy. Yet, you can’t claim that hundreds and thousands of people committing suicide each day are all mentally deranged, or affected by some chemical substance not naturally belonging in their veins and brains. Yet, this is an ideological and philosophical debate a much as a practical reality.

I have to ask, a healthy choice, can that only be what society dictates is right? A right choice, is that only the choice that brings least possible pain to the people around you? What is most important, the people you love and care for, or your self and your personal demons? In the case of suicide, clearly the ones choosing that path have already decided on the latter, yet that does not mean they do not feel regret for doing as they do. The typical “I’m sorry” note left next to the dead body, indicates this better than anything else. People committing suicide are not necessarily stone cold crazy, they might in fact be more in touch with their own feelings and consciousness than many others, making an extreme statement about their life and existence. If you are not allowed to decide whether you live or die, how can you truly be said to be free? Cannot suicide be considered the most extreme way of expressing one’s freedom of speech?

Personally I’ve always found a kind of comfort in the knowledge that if everything get screwed up totally, I can always put a gun to my head. There’s always one last possible way to escape it all. This actually makes it easier for me to enjoy life as it is, because the ability to perform self-slaughter is what I consider the ultimate freedom, no-one can take that away from me. This does not mean I contemplate suicide on a daily, or even a monthly or yearly basis, but the knowledge of the option is soothing nonetheless. Having said this I do not condone of suicide in general, and I consider it a major social issue that we must strive to abolish. Yet I want the legal and moral right to decide over my own life and I strongly disagree with the common letter of the law concerning this issue. Yes, the bereaved and moral watchers often claim that suicide is a cowardly act, something the weak chooses. Oh yes, it can be hard to choose life, and it might require a lot of personal strength, but to end it yourself, requires equally much strength, albeit from a different reservoir. Suicide is said to be selfish, yes of course it is, probably the most selfish act there is. Yet the term “selfish” normally refers to favoring oneself. I say, the truly selfish are the ones that believe they have a God-given right to live, that they are so important that they have to live for the sake of others. That gives me a bitter after-taste of arrogance and haughtiness. After all, death is as natural as life and have anyone the right to put a prize on the lives of others? Every life, every existence has a value that matters only to the life-form itself and it is that life-forms choice how to manage it.

6. Helping

Entering The Suicidal Mind

Well, this is truly the really hard part. You can write so much, discuss and elaborate causes, reasons and acknowledge the realities, yet changing someone else’s mind is extremely difficult. When people have settled their mind and filled it up with convictions, changing those may be next to impossible.

From the stories I hear, the people I talk to and the things I read, it never cease to amaze me that many suicidal people are fairly adept at hiding how they really are. While some have a long history “call-for-help” suicide attempts, many have, according to their friends and family, never shown any affinity for suicidality before the disaster strikes. Far from everyone suicidal go around with T-shirt stating that they want to die, printed in large, unfriendly letters. Outward appearances might even be the one of a seemingly healthy individual. They may even say when directly asked that “I’m ok”. Few things are subject to so much prejudice and shame as suicidality. This can have several effects, one of them is that it can potentially increase the feeling of despair and loneliness, also, that one may go to great lengths to hide the condition.

If you know or suspect someone is suicidal, you have a few options. You can seek out authorities and try to get the person into some kind of medical or therapeutic treatment. My personal scepticism towards the science of psychology is considerable, but I do acknowledge the authority of this science concerning this subject. It is an unmistakable fact that people working within this field have more training in dealing with suicidal people than anyone else. They have to be able to get something right. If they don’t understand or appreciate the full complexity of the many perspectives a suicidal mind may have, they are able to relieve many cases and help people to a better life. Other than that, never leave them out of sight. You need privacy to murder yourself.

Authors Personal Notes To The Suicidal Individual

I am not a psychologist, doctor or highly educated therapist. I am just a human being that have felt the dark sides of my mind loom much more than what was comfortable. I cannot possibly comprehend what you feel, what you’re going through or how you feel about yourself and your existence. No-one except you can. What I can claim, is that I’ve been somewhere in the general vicinity of where you are. I’ve felt sorrow, regret, despair and emotional pain so strong it’s made my chest and belly into one big, hard awful knot. Yet, I’m still here, kickin’ an’ screamin’. I can’t save you and I’m very uncertain whether I can help you at all. Perhaps if you’ve read this article you’ve got some fresh impulses, maybe you see yourself and your condition in a slightly different perspective. I certainly hope so. If you feel I’ve added another stone to your burden, that was certainly not my intention. What you make of this and your life, is in fact entirely up to you. You must note that I am writing this from my own perspective as a humanist and atheist and my primary belief is that human beings control their own fate and that it is not only a privilege but our responsibility to make the best out of what we’ve got.

“..The first rule of the suicide club is, talk to someone. Second rule of the suicide club is talk to…”

Good night and good luck.

Ps. I am open for any input, both public as a comment to this article, or privately per mail. I will of course treat your response with outmost confidentiality if that is your wish.

On Being A Conscious Voter

Mac — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:53:24 +0000

Elections are often considered the ultimate proof of democracy. By voting, the inhabitants of a country exercises their most principal right and has a direct influence on who get to govern, or alternatively, how an issue is solved. Even nations under the absolute rule of a dictator often has elections and in theory, a democratic system, albeit the true power resides with one man or group. In practise this is of course nothing but a public secret, but the facade is kept up regardless. If you’re as lucky as I am, you live in a country where we do in fact elect our politicians. One can always argue how true and real one’s particular democratic system is in a theoretical and technical sense, but I’ll leave that for another time. What interests me is the way modern, western practical politics tend to work. As they say, voting is a privilege, and exercising that right is something that should not be taken lightly on. I’d like to spend some lines on the subject “voter-awareness”.

Populism

There’s always an election going on somewhere, but some elections get more media coverage and publicity than others. Right now we have an excellent example in the US presidential election coming up in a few days. This article is not really aimed at that election specifically, but rather elections in general. Nor it is my objective to front any particular candidate in this or any other election. What is interesting is that tendencies and trends initially seen in the US, gradually becomes common in other countries too. This can both be the ideological current of the time, or in relation to this article, the way politics are practised during an election campaign. Now, the US is often referred to, at least by Americans, as the finest democracy in the world. Even if this is not necessarily true, seen from a foreigners perspective, the US is indeed a country whose doings has a profound impact on the rest of the world. Thus, who leads it and how an election is conducted there, has interest for people all around the globe. Also, it’s difficult to think of any other election showing off the more extreme sides of modern politics and PR-techniques.

The trend for many years and elections now, is that the medias are becoming a more and more important factor in politics and society. They are aggressive, often focusing on secondary matters such as person rather than case or ideology. This tendency is a result of the modern-day mass medias and the many arenas they compete in. Information spreads more rapidly than ever, and the need to expose one’s own specific enterprise, leads journalists and reporters to use large and rather unfriendly letters in the headlines. This again makes it necessary for the politicians to try to catch the headlines themselves, giving rise to a populistic trend, where the messages are simple and grass very green.

Populism is not something new, it’s been around since before the days of ancient Rome and Greece. When the very first leader was “chosen” amongst a group of tribal people, let’s call him “Ugruk”, he’d probably fired of a few populistic statements (besides of the skull-bashing) such as “Ugruk will give you much food”. Thus populism has a long history, and it is not necessarily wrong itself either. Although, the way information is shared today, probably makes it a potentially more effective, and dangerous tool, for anyone seeking power. Back in Ugruks days, everyone knew this was all bullocks, they weren’t all that smart and educated, but they didn’t have to be to understand that Ugruks primary strength was just that, strength. A few small glimmers of cynicism and intelligence on top of that, made him a candidate for leadership.

The problem with modern populism is the fact that people are really quite smart, smart enough to feel certain that they are smart. People who think they are smart tend to be lazy and not really work hard, they feel no need to improve themselves. The access to all kinds of information and knowledge do not mean one use it. In the case of politics, the effect is that people tend jump on a bandwagon that sounds nice, without doing research. Of course that is their choice and they are free to do that, but personally I’d rather prefer it if they used their brains a little more. Not because I wish to change who they vote for or their opinions, but because I believe that choices should be as objective and well-founded as possible.

The Fourth Estate & The Price We Pay

Barack Obama -The new shiny model?

John McCain - Has he got a spare tire?

A teacher once told me, “politics is a lie, a damn lie!”. I do not remember the setting anymore, and being only about twelve at the time, what he actually meant or was referring to, remains a bit vague to me today. Yet, what I think maybe he was thinking of, is the tendency of modern-day politicians to be like fancy cars, sporting nice chromed details and a shiny paint job, with cause and ideology being the lousy 5$ can of “instant-tire-fix” the factory put in the trunk instead of a proper spare tire.

A politician running for a major office, becomes a public person the very instant he proclaims his candidature. This is something that is to be expected, not to mention, probably necessary. Being a public person in the 21st century meas you will get exposed to an extent our forefathers would have found unthinkable. Outward appearance, looks and speech are key factors that need to meet certain standards. What these standards are, is a subtle science, often incomprehensible to the common man. Also, the medias interpretation of a candidate often creates a consensus and a common view of the individual, which might even easily proven to be completely erroneous. A classical example in the US election campaign is the claim that Barack Obama is an Arab because his middle name is “Hussein”. Both in a genetic and cultural sense there is no doubt that he is in fact not, yet the claim has stuck. This is a typical example of some claim fueled by the media, becoming “truth”, at least among a group that need flimsy evidence to fuel their prejudice. Seriously, even if he was an Arab or Muslim, how would that matter at all?Are not all men supposed to be created equal and is there not freedom of speech and religion?

Bottom line, even if you do not agree to my previous example, is that we allow the medias to hold a power over ourselves, that is simply unmatched by any other institution of the society, and we did not even democratically elect the journalists that shape our understanding of the world! Never forget, that a reporter or journalist or even an entire institution might have an agenda of its own, and regardless of that, we allow them affect who to vote for. Ultimately, this is the price we pay for living in a relatively free world. We can only acknowledge the reality, but this doesn’t stop us from being conscious beings. As Robert Jackson once said:

“The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish.”

Rubbish is the key point, the media presents us with a lot of it, but we do not have to believe it or take it for granted. A healthy dose of scepticism will not hurt! You should always be sceptic of what is told you, especially if it is in any way related to money, ideology or power. Just because someone in a nice suit with a pretty face tell you something, doesn’t mean they are correct. This sounds like social know-how that should present already in kindergarten, but people can be surprisingly naive.

Words Are Just That, Words

It’s not uncommon to hear phrases like “that man has a way with words”, or comparing a politician with a well-known charismatic historical personality with great rhetorical skills, for instance the infamous John F. Kennedy or Martin Luther King. Good rhetorical skills have often been a much respected ability amongst us humans, at least in periods where expressing one’s views did not mean one would be beheaded. Developing language have been exceptionally important to the success of our race, and this is also an observation easily made by anyone. Other animals don’t talk, at least not to the same extent that we do, providing an obvious logical conclusion. Amongst man, a very common perspective is that the fact that we speak, puts us above all other creatures of this world. Yet, as man have a love for words, language and fine speech, we can easily be blinded by that fascination. Pretty things said does not necessarily mean anything substantial. On the political arena this holds very true and it’s something one should be very aware of when observing politics.

Rhetorics, regardless of its beauty and the fire it might light in our hearths and minds, are nothing but words, and words are very cheap. Exchanges of words, such as debates and discussions might reveal weaknesses with one, several or even all participants, but this is not always as definite as one can be lead to believe when watching a political debate. Don’t forget the fact that discussions in themselves have a certain pointless value, because discussions is basically about orally expressing views in such a way that others appear poor or inadequate. It’s as much about rhetorics and technique as much as about actual message. People are different and some have clearly better oratory skills. Yet, oratory skills are not the same as knowledge and it certainly do not mean that the orator is “correct”. Politicians strive to massacre each others with oratory skills, and many of them have such abilities far beyond the average. That’s probably why they become politicians in the first place. Many have come to places of power with a mediocre message mixed with charisma and an ability to appear genuine in front of people.

Whatever you do...

The man in the street is easily blinded by fair talking and sweet assurances. If you are supposed to be a conscious member of your society, a voter and a fellow man, having the will to actually try and see what is behind a politicians message is a primary goal. Being a little bit conscious about the mechanics that take place in modern politics and trying to view things from a different angle, can give you a new perspective and hopefully allow you to make a more educated choice when you’re in that booth with the ballot in front of you. Having the right to vote is a privilege many have died for, and others dream of. Even then, being spoiled does not mean we can’t think. Don’t pick your candidate or party on a whim, evaluate statements, have a look at their programs of principle, use different media sources and be sceptic to all of them. The truth is normally something in the middle. Be extremely vary of classical populistic promises such as lower taxes, more money for schools and roads and so forth. Money do have to come from somewhere and taxes is the primary income of most nations. Spending money on one thing, normally means less money are spent on other things. After you’ve thought through things like this, make your choice and pick the party or candidate because you truly believe they and/or he is the best suited to govern you, and your country as a whole.

Oh and whatever you do, vote!

Financial Crisis And 9/11 [rant, engage!]

Mac — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 21:41:58 +0000

If you haven’t been living under a rock lately, you are probably aware that the world economy is going loco these days. The stock markets drop like there’s no tomorrow and especially many banks are in deep shit. Governments all over the globe are in a frenzy, trying to stabilize the markets by pouring money into financial institutions. Banks in the US, Iceland and UK are already kept artificially alive in an attempt to avoid total collapse, and many more are likely to follow. It appears we’re well on our way into a recession, and parts of the story behind it might interest you.

[rant on]

A Session About Economics

Understanding the world economy is not easy, but it helps to know a couple of somewhat simplified facts. The world economy is ultimately based on trust, and not the value of real, solid-to-the-touch goods and products like you might think. The time when the value of money was equal to the amount of gold in a national banks treasury, is long since gone. Now, when there’s a financial crisis, a lot of fancy financial theory can be applied in an attempt to describe it, yet, ultimately it boils down to the fact that trust is what keeps everything afloat. “They” might talk about loans and liquidity, but basically it’s as simple as this; when peoples trust start to waiver, we see what’s happening right now. Stock markets drop like there’s no tomorrow.

In the title of this post, I mention 9/11. What’s that got to do with anything? Well, maybe more than you think. You see, what many people may not realise, is that 9/11 was more than an attack at the twin towers on Manhattan. It was more than yet another a terrorist attack against the “infidels” and an attempt to strike at the heart of the enemy. 9/11 was in fact an attempt to crash the entire world economy by striking fear into the hearts of everyone and pulling out one of the fundamental bricks in the pyramid of trust that is the international economy, and it nearly happened too. World Trade Center was one of the very centers of the international financial system, but even then, its importance to the world economy was relative. One thing is that the towers housed hundreds of businesses, many within the financial sector, and they all got knocked out in one blow. A lot of people died and a lot of things stopped working for a time. Even then, this was only a tiny fraction of the people and businesses that work within the financial sector and the psychological value of the attack far outstripped the actual human and economical costs caused by it. The really important thing was the fact that the attack scared and shocked people everywhere, making people less willingly to invest, spend money and travel, with major impact on the world economy and a potential crack as result.

Luckily, the markets proved more mature than one could initially hope. We got through 9/11 in a short time perspective, and despite of periodical setbacks in some industries, weapons and arms manufacturers boomed and by 2003 things where starting to go better again.

Nice way of summing things up...

But, hold on for a second! What exactly is happening today? It’s at least partially plausible to link 9/11 with the present day financial situation. Ironically, what Al Quaedas attack on WTC didn’t accomplish initially seven years ago, may be happening after all. As you know, Al Quaeda and 9/11 triggered the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, wars which is one of the major reasons Bush have had to spend so much money in his two terms. The wars was and still is, costly. Latest figure I read was that Iraq alone cost 10 billion USD every month. That’s not counting the indirect costs like for example thousands of wounded soldiers returning home, requiring medical aid and social benefits. These wars have put a great strain on the US and any other nation would have collapsed financially already, but the US, is as we know, an economic superpower. Also, the wars probably ensured Bush his re-election (..”I am a war president” etc), meaning he could continue his irresponsible politics.

As you see, I’m claiming that Bush is a considerable factor behind whats happening now and I have some proof too. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s not Mr. Bush’ fault alone that the economy is going down the drains these days, he only acted within a financial system that’s been ill for a long, long while. Yet. his disastrous economical politics was probably a decisive factor in setting off the current crisis. Bush have been a firm believer of an economical policy advocating deregulation and less possible control of everything that’s got to do with financial stuff. If he had tried to regulate and develop the US’ financial laws and policy, we would probably not be where we are today. Bush simply ignored Clinton’s period of relative calm sensibility and continued Regan and his fathers policy, and the result was that many greedy bastards could roam the stock markets more or less free, with few limits and boundaries. Ultimately, Bush himself admitted the defeat of his economical policy when they saved Fannie Mae & Co, and lately, hurried a gigantic rescue pack in an attempt to “fix” the economy they, themselves, participated in ruining. Mind you, such government-involvement in the “free” market is unheard of since the great depression.

No financial whiz-kid..

It’s Failed

Read the facts. The US national debt is all-time high and the social differences and issues are more noticeable than ever. Close to 50 million Americans are without health insurance, there’s still massive differences in employment and income between the different ethnic groups and these differences haven’t decreased over the past decades. In the US, as in the rest of the world, the massive majority of the wealth belongs to a tiny percentage of the population. I think this pretty darn well spells out “failed economical policy” with a topping of some serious injustice.

This could all have been sort of “tolerable” (it’s the Americans, they elected the bastards, what do we care?), had not the modern world been so closely knit together as it is. The world have become a gigantic interconnecting web, where everything is in one or other way connected to everything else. This phenomenon, particularly in an economical, cultural and political sense, is called globalization. No man and no country is an isle, and another mans doing is every-one’s disaster. The last thing Bush or any other American president is free to do, is making decisions without thinking of the effect it can or will have on the rest of the world. The status of the US as a great power and economical cornerstone of the world, indirectly gives their politicians (and voters) a greater responsibility than their counterparts in most other countries.

Both in theory and practise it seems that the capitalist system do not work. It’s not self-regulating, the best products are not available for the lowest prices and everyone certainly don’t have the same “shot at glory”. Fundamental capitalist theory do simply not apply to real life situations any more than pure old-fashioned 1917 style Marxism-Lenism do. If you’re agreeing to the concept of everyone being created equal, having the same rights and should have the same chances in life, well our present world-wide economical system do not make that happen. Sorry to disappoint you.

You should really think people and politicians had learnt after the many financial crises we had in the last century, but it appears that greed always win, in the end. It is clear to me, that as long the rich got their hands deep down politicians pockets, the average Joe Sixpack, regardless of nationality, will live at the will and whims of people we do not know or trust. People who’s only goal in life is to accumulate riches for themselves with no regard for their fellow man. Now it’s getting about time to end this rant, and I’m thinking for myself, yes actually hoping that perhaps one day, the power will truly belong to the people. That those exercising power on behalf of the people, will really do it for the people, and not their rich friends who paid for their election campaign. Yet realistically this is just a nice dream and I truly don’t see this happening, anytime, but at least you can hope ;) Finally, until people realise that you cannot measure success in economical growth alone, and that long periods of growth does not mean everything is working and all right, well, you better get used to seeing front-pages like the one from The Economist.

Mr. Bin Laden having fun.

I, for one, think Mr. Bin Laden is having some good laughs in his cave somewhere. The 9/11 incident did indeed crash those towers, but it didn’t crash the world economy. Yet, you can very well choose to interpret todays situation as a result of 9/11 and thus maybe he did succeed after all..

[rant off]

Update 23.10.2008: If you know the Norwegian language, the Norwegian newspaper, Dagbladet has an interesting article on the relationship between the 2008 crack and the 1873-crack. Nice reading!

MMORPGs – The Genre That Changes The World?

Mac — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 11:23:26 +0000

I’m a gamer and that’s hardly a secret or something I’m ashamed of. I’ve played video games since the late 80s, when the Nintendo 8bit system was the king of the hill, I’ve killed and been killed in online FPS games, I’ve fought through musky dungeons and organized massive 40-man raids. I have dominated the world and spammed ICBMs, forcing virtual Napoleons and Ghandis on their knees, begging for mercy. I’ve been the king of the world, and lost it all when a game crashed and the save was corrupted. I’ve ripped my headset off my head and throw it on the floor with force enough to shatter it in five(!) different parts, and I’ve cheered like there was no tomorrow when our raid killed an important boss. I’ve been there and done much of it. I simply love games and they play a major part in my life.

I, and many from my own generation, consider games an interactive art-form that is no less an “art” than say movies or books. For us there’s no question about it and we don’t care what the cultural establishment think about the subject. We know from personal experience that games can tell stories, involve you in the action, give you the feeling of accomplishment and boost your self-confidence. They can be short, quick and mindless, just occupying time, or they can present you moral or ethical dilemmas and force you take a stand and change your real-life perception. They can give you valuable training in co-operating, organizing as well as provide social know-how, experiences that may very well be put into use in other situations. The possibilities and potential is close to endless and that’s in many ways why we’re so fascinated too. Having grown up with games, we are not scared of this (relatively) new media, we embrace it and feel it’s a natural part of modern life.

MMORPGs
The gaming industry is growing rapidly and is even rivaling established forms of entertainment and popular culture like movies and music in revenues. It is also getting obvious that games have a considerable effect on the social structure and general social conditions. The reason is that people spend a lot of time playing games and in some cases, they forsake real-life on behalf of spending more time in-game. This is particularly noticeable with one specific group of games, the MMORPGs, Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. Examples are World of Warcraft, Eve Online, Ultima Online, Age of Conan, Warhammer, Lord of The Rings Online and many more. These games have a structure and game-play that basically requires you to spend considerable amounts of time to acquire items and accomplish goals. The effort required is often extremely time-consuming. It is a brutal reality that people spend up to 18 hours per day in-game and they do it for months and even years at the time. The fact that these games are centered around team-play, or, at least the need to work as a team to accomplish goals, introduces a social arena beyond any previously known complexity or imagination.

This cannot be fully understood if you don’t know one very widespread mechanism of the Internet. The relative anonymity leads many people to feel relieved of normal social conventions and standards, behaving pretty much like they feel like there and then. With no social filter in between people, and the lack of visual feedback from actually seeing the face of those you speak with, the tension level rise easily. Alliances are made and broken, betrayals and deception are commonplace and lies, cruelty and seemingly complete lack of social know-how, makes these waters harder to navigate than the Middle-East conflict. When this is said, the social complexity of MMORPGs also provides an arena for many people that are otherwise socially inept, to socialize. It can be people with mental issues, or disabilities that make it hard to socialize in real life. In online games they can live a life where their issues often aren’t that noticeable, they can be a more perfected version of themselves, gain accept, respect and feel good. The problem is of course that this does not necessarily resolve any issues, regardless of cause. While it can help people, it can also make them draw even more into themselves and avoid human relations to such extent that they literally have no life except of their online community.

A New Sub-Culture Ascends
My personal experience, primarily from World of Warcraft in the MMORPG-genre, suggests that a large portion of the people spending much time with these games are in fact people with issues of some kind (I’m one). A certain percentage are people with disabilities and serious conditions, but those are the minority. Those that really gets me thinking, is the considerably larger number of “normal” folks that use games as a way to escape the realities if their lives. Many are working, with wife and kids, seemingly successful. Yet they spend an alarming amount of time at home, online. Others are high-school and university dropouts, living on social welfare or their parents. Mind you, these are not retards, they may be somewhat socially inept geeks, but they are often very intelligent and otherwise perfectly capable individuals. Gaming, and gaming a lot, is more than a hobby for these individuals, it’s a way of life. Many jump tirelessly from MMORPG to MMORPG as they might grow tired of one, or they seek new communities and challenges.

Now, we live in a free world, and it’s really no-ones business telling other people what to do and not do, as long as they don’t harm anyone else. I fully respect this and neither do I intend to do it. After all, I’m part of the extended gamer culture myself. What interests me most in this aspect, is the fact that we have a new sub-culture, a group in our society, that both count a wast number of resourceful people, but also focus these resources on something that isn’t really productive in a conventional sense. They have been doing this for quite some years now, and to believe that this “trend” will just disappear is naive. Seeing the development of digital technology over the past 30 years, it seems unlikely that the evolution will grind to a halt anytime soon. There is a fair chance we’ll have a large group of gamers among us, and, they will become more and more noticeable as they grow older and their generation(s) assume positions of prominence and power.

What effect this “lost generation” of the 1980s will have on the society as a whole, remains to be seen, but that they will affect it, is certain. One possibility is that they will enhance one considerable issue most western nations are facing, a demographic crisis caused by a dwindling population. People simply don’t get enough kids and the gamers probably get less kids than the population average. Unlike the population boom after a certain “lost generation” after WW1, and to a much greater extent the generations lost in WW2, the gamer-lifestyle will doubtfully have a positive effect on the demographic situation. I have no solution to the population crisis we’re in, and it’s plain unfair to blame the gamers for it. Nevertheless, I’d just like to point out, that as far the spread of the gamers have got, they are simply too many to ignore. They are here and they are already in force!

Links

The Sorrow That is Usher Syndrome

Mac — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:02:00 +0000

I’d like to talk a bit about quite a private subject that I’ve given a lot of thought over the years. In fact, it concerns me in my everyday life. Sorrow, grief and regret. Here’s my take on it.

The single most defining element of my life, is (unfortunately) Usher Syndrome. This extremely rare genetic disease that I suffer from, is a thing that defines me even if I don’t want it to. The day I received the diagnose eventually changed my life forever and also my perception of a great many things. The nature of sorrow is one of them.

An eye affected by Usher Syndrome's eye disease. The white-yellow part with the black spots is the retina with dead cells.

I’m sure those of you that are yourself living with a permanent and serious diagnosis have an idea of what I speak of when I talk of sorrow. Yet, for you that don’t, I’ll try to explain.

Grief That Won’t Let Go

As human beings, loosing things we care for is a part of life. Most of us will have to endure parents and other relatives dying during our own lifespan. Also, we will see friends die all too young from stupid accidents, drugs or even war. Loved ones can and will forsake us for others and leave us scrambling in the dust, trying to cope with rejection and sometimes deception and trickery of the very worst kind. When someone we care for, is fond of and love, leave us, we feel sorrow and we grieve.

To carry on reading this post, it is important to realise that all sorrow is basically the same, mourning someone who dies, or a partner ditching you, is not much different. The fact that something is gone from your life is the key element, not what or whom. When your whole life get turned upside down from a serious diagnosis, you often have to change focus and plans in a quite drastic manner. It’s not uncommon to experience sorrow-reactions in such situations. Sorrow might be great, big and black, clouding everything, or the more manageable kind that leaves us sad and hurt, but still alive and well. No matter what flavour, it’s still sorrow.

Sorrow may lead you to react with denial, guilt, anger and self-destruction, it may render you incapable of functioning in daily life and kick off a serious depression. In some cases the symptoms of the sorrow even match several of the criteria for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – “shell shock, war weariness”). The psychologists have been researching sorrow for many years, and they probably understand sorrow better now than 20 or 30 years ago. Still, I’ve done a little reading into the subject, and it is somewhat frustrating, because primarily existing literature and articles about sorrow, deal with sorrow caused by loosing someone, not something. The techniques suggested for treating people with complicated sorrow don’t always seem very viable for dealing with “my kind”.

Just won't let go..

Regardless of strength and psychological know-how, most kinds of sorrow we experience in life, are the kind that eventually passes with time. Time heals all wounds they say, and they are mostly correct. Yet, even when realising that sorrow is sorrow, regardless of cause, there is a crucial difference between sorrows, at least in one aspect. There is one kind of sorrow never really leave you. I’m talking about the kind of sorrow you are constantly reminded of because you have to live with the initial cause of the sorrow for the rest of your life. Permanently nagging you, eventually getting old and worn, but still and always there. Sorrow that won’t let go.

Handling It?

The most important thing though, is not that you feel sorrow, but how you cope with it. You can lock it up, ignore it, drug yourself with alcohol or other unhealthy substances, but it will still be there. That leaves you with little choice except trying to find some way to actually face it and live with it. There is no manual, no “Coping with sorrow for Dummies”, and even though there are others living, facing and dealing with similar reactions, they are few and far between. Also, they are often busy enough with themselves. The fact that grief is extremely personal and often hard to explain literally complicates the matter.

Personally, I’ve found no easy way out, though, I’ve tried. I’ve had progress, I’ve got somewhere and I feel wiser today, but nothing I do can change the fundamental facts of my medical situation. In a psychological perspective, maybe one day I will be able to say that “I’m OK” and really mean it, but I can’t see it happening anytime soon. You’ll see smiles on my face and hear me laugh, and I can for a moment feel all right. Yet, there’s always that shadow, the imprint a severe diagnosis can leave on a person.

I’ve talked to psychologists about this. Sorrow is something that often pop up in the line of work that psychologists do, so they have training and experience in dealing with the subject. Still, the funny thing is, they are not really much wiser than I am. Techniques for handling sorrow might be to try focus on something ahead and get people moving, or role-playing conversations with the deceased and visiting a grave. But, what is there to focus on for someone with a permanent diagnosis? What does it help to say “time heals all wounds” and other similar and often used sayings?

My Way

This is no doubt a difficult and complicated subject, both for those it concerns directly, as well as those that live with them and try to help them. Sorrow can manifest itself in many forms and shapes and there is no all-round solution. In the end it’s up to ourselves how to deal and live with it. Some find comfort in religion, others in therapy. Personally I’ve never felt much for religion, I’m an atheist and happy with my choice. I believe in humanity and our chance and ability to control our own lives, despite the chaos. Here, at the core of my personal beliefs I have one thing that I find helps me.

For me a simple and unmistakable fact always remains. I am a human being. That means I’m able to adapt to and cope with the extremes, if necessary. I know we’re a species that have climbed to the position we have on this planet because we are able to adapt to almost anything. We might not have a good time, yes merely even exist, but we have a strength within, called the “will to live”. This is the result of thousands and thousands of generations of survivors and everything comes together in one single fact, we don’t want to die. When we know and realise this, we’re once step closer to coping with our lives, and sorrow too. It’s up to ourselves to use our massive reserves of inherited potential, all the ingenuity, skill, understanding and more than anything, the will that we possess, to define and change our lives.

This is all on a psychological level. We, ourselves possess the ability to heal ourselves. Whatever means you seek to use to help yourself, therapy, beliefs, drugs… They are just things that may or may not get you to a point where you, yourself, use your mind to your own good. They are not the solution, you are the solution.

This is my way, I’m sure. It doesn’t cure the regret in my heart, but the knowledge and understanding gives me no option but to carry on. I wish to live, breathe, love, drink, eat, learn, laugh and cry, and the pain will put a damper on it, but it won’t stop it. Other people with other beliefs will not find this suitable at all, yet, I can only vouch for myself. Even then, I’d like to suggest you try and taste the old saying “when there is will there is a way” and think a bit about it.

Have you experiences with sorrow that you’d like to share? Feel free to use the contact form bellow. Anonymization is fully possible. Otherwise commenting this post itself is an option too.